Question You Must Ask on Your First Date

The butterflies in your stomach, the surprise element, the nervousness, the excitement...and the newness! This is precisely how we all feel when we meet a “might become a special person” for the first time. But how would you decide that?

This article focuses on the questions you must ask on your very first date before you go any further. These questions are focused towards both men and women alike. Why this is important? You might ask!...because one bad relationship is not the end of the world. It is true, but i strongly believe that, every second wasted is a second lost forever, and you don't want to lose it with the wrong person. If you are keen, you will find your right person. There is never a guarantee, but you know you tried.

I consider a first date to be more or less like an interview where you are the employer and the employee both at the same time. The chances are you are applying for this job for life...no job change, no midlife career shifts...you have to work for this company forever, therefore you better have some of your needs and demands straightened out in the initial agreement! Makes sense? Let get to the questions!

1. Weekend Activities


What do they do over the weekends? Are they mostly home or are they out hanging out with friends? I would vote for a balance of both…
Also, ponder over how you like to spend your weekends? If both your pass times are similar then great, but if not, ask whether they will be willing to try a change. Weekends are a huge part of your life, weekends consist of 12 days of a month (considering Friday nights) that is a lot of days to sulk and fight!

2. Daily Routine


What is their work profile? Where do they work, how do they commute? What are their day to day activities at work? What does their day mainly comprise of? This will give you an insight about their personality, whether they are laid back or committed. It will help to understand them better. Also, ask about their work timings, are they working late nights? Do they have ‘me’ time? If they have ‘me’ time they will be able to give you sometime too, or else you will always find yourself begging for time and attention.

3. Their Dream Partner


What they always wanted in their partner! This one is rather tricky, most people will not be able to give a good answer to this question. What you should look out for is a clear and crisp answer, the one that is delivered with confidence. If you get a satisfactory answer, it means that the person has given a thought about having a relationship with someone and is serious about it. Anyone who is sure about a commitment will have an accurate answer. A vague answer might mean otherwise.


4. Household Duties

Since, our lives are getting busier day by day, and everyone is falling short of time. It makes life easier when you have a helping hand at home. Regardless, of your gender, you must find someone who is equally willing to cook, clean, do laundry, raise children, take care of parents, take care of bills and everything else around the house. So go ahead and ask about their present household duties. Be mindful of their present situation, but also ask if they have the know-how if needed. They may not be doing it right now, but that shouldn't mean they can’t.

5. Settling Plans


If they have a plan for settling in the  future? How and where do they want to settle? The future is a forever changing phenomenon, but you have to have your priorities pre-decided. So first work on yourself, steer clear of confusion. Be sure of how you want to settle, and how much you will be willing to compromise, and then go ahead and ask the same questions to your prospective partner.

6. Take of Faith and Ideologies


Even though we talk about how faiths are not important, as we grow older they gain some importance in our lives. Everything you do is based on your faith and culture. And it would make you happy if your family follows suit. Often difference in beliefs lead to small fights and a bitter winning losing game. Unless, off course, you are sure you are totally open and accepting of anything and everything, this war-zone is not worth it.

7. Habits


By this I mean social habits, like being a social drinker, or a social smoker (or chain smoker), occasional gambler, etc. This you have to know on day one! Maybe you don't do any of the above and you would end up feeling alienated or rather frustrated at your social outings (and vice versa).
Habits are not limited to the ones listed above, but also go beyond that, small things are key to knowing each other better, for example, you like breakfast in bed. There are always a thousand habits that you find out only after living with someone, but, being as transparent as you can with these habits is healthy. Don’t hesitate to ask about these little things. It will take you a long way.

8. Life Goals


This is more for the long haul, your partner's life goals will affect your life in more ways than one. While there are unlimited question that one can ask in this area, some important ones are the following. What their life goals? What they want to achieve 5- 10 years down the road? Where do they see themselves? How much money they want to make (yes you can ask that, in our generation it is not rude but important)? If you are thinking why do you need to ask these questions...the answer is simple. Are your goals matching theirs? If not, are you willing to compromise your goals? This is important because you might think it's okay to give up your goals, but 5 years down the line you might regret it! So decide wisely.


Relationships are tough, and they often are unpredictable. People generally leave relationships to destiny and assume that good people will automatically come their way. I feel otherwise, I know for a fact that many ‘good’ people come your way (that is destiny), but how many make it forever with you? (that you have to choose). So these questions will help you pick out the BEST out of the good ones. All the best!!! 

Comments

  1. So well written !! Perfect for someone who isn’t aware of what to talk about ! Wish I had this during my time !

    ReplyDelete

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