5 Crucial Adjustments newlywed couples HAVE TO make!


Congratulations!!! You are now married (or soon will be). It all feels so magical when you think about life after being someone’s spouse, and it is! It is an amazing learning curve, when you are able to independently make a life with another person. Needless to say, this will happen with a few ups and downs, a few disagreements and many make – up sessions.
Maybe you don't know your spouse so well, maybe you know your spouse since you were a child; but marriage often divides time into before and after. It is a new life all together. Everything might seem the same the next day after you say ‘I DO’, except that, you have to share everything from now on, and I mean each and everything! (God help you, if you haven’t been the sharing type).
It is just like they say before a roller coaster, “Brace yourselves, it is going to be a bumpy ride”. Your newly married life is just like the roller coaster ride; too short to fight rough and give up.

To help you go through this ride I have shared some Adjustments that you will eventually HAVE TO make once you are married, and how to make these adjustments like a pro! Read on…

1.       Money Money Baby
            (pic courtesy: huffingtonpost.com)

Everything related to money and beyond needs to be discussed openly. Preferably, before you jump into the commitment, just so that you are transparent about the earning vs spending ratio. This is a critical aspect of your relationship, not to say that go for the riches, but have a clear idea about each other’s finances. Even if you have discussed money matters beforehand, you will notice that you have to make adjustments in your spending and saving habits after marriage. The thing is, until now, you were spending for one person, but now you will be using money for two. Like everything else, money has to be shared as well. It is healthy to be unclouded about your earnings and also to understand that all the money that is coming in, is both yours and your spouses. This takes away the burden of who is earning how much, which can lead to small arguments.

2.       An Extra Set of Family
            (pic courtesy: huffingtonpost.com)

We all have one set of family, but isn't two better than one? Mostly not!
It is not easy to make strangers your own, but you have to do it for the sake of your spouse. This new family might not have the same opinions and viewpoints as yours but, it all comes with the package deal. Your spouse loves his/her family, and it would mean the world to them if you made an attempt to get along with their peeps!
Your saying you don't like them? That is fine. All you have to do is be courteous, just like you would be to a stranger. You have to try, chances are you might actually grow fond of them. If you try mingling with your in-laws even just a little bit, they will like you back. If your in-laws like you, half your marriage issues are already sorted. Be the good guy here! It won't hurt.

3.       Work Allocation and Learning
        
                    (pic courtesy: pixabay.com)

 I believe that both spouses should have equal responsibilities towards the home making. This takes off stress, and it sends a subtle message to your partner that they are appreciated and loved. Also, they are re-assured that help will come when they need it (or even if they don't). Sharing work saves time and energy. More work can be done in less time, if the jobs are allocated. One person does not have to bear the burden of the work in the house.
When you are newly married and one person is burdened with all the work, they might do it in the start, but, it will slowly and steadily become frustrating and lead to dissent. That's why, it is very important that the work is allocated in the beginning. So that, both partners know what they are expected to do for their relationship to flow smoothly.
I also encourage you to learn your partner's jobs as well. I feel that both the spouses need to know each other's work in and out for the rough times. Life should not stop if the woman of the house is ill, and the man can't cook (vice-versa). Both partners need to know how to cook, clean, pay the bills, be a handyman. Learn all the jobs that your spouse always does, so that you are not stuck if and when they aren't around.

4.       Choice of Entertainment and Outings
                    (pic courtesy: pixabay.com)

We are all different, with different likes and dislikes. So anticipate differences in your hobbies, and pastime activities. The best way to handle this difference is to be open. Be open to new things and activities. Do not give up on your likes, take turns over weekends and holidays. If you like romance and your spouse likes action movies, then watch action for a change and ask your spouse to watch romance for your sake. You will be surprised at the fresh experiences you might have when you try something different. If you don't like a particular activity after you have tried it, be honest about it, and conclude on the activities that you both enjoy.

5.       Make Peace
                    (pic courtesy: pixabay.com)

By this I mean, apologize! You might be wrong or you might not. But sometimes you have to be the bigger person and make peace after a fight. Don't let a fight drag too long. Never sleep over a fight, because tomorrow is a new day, and it would be horrible to wake up with a fight in your mind. Keep your ego aside, there is no place for it, if your marriage has to sustain.
If you both think it wasn't your mistake (which is the case most times), then agree to disagree! Move on, because while you were sulking, you missed one moment of laughter and love. It's not worth it!

You will soon be parents, grow old and then have bigger responsibilities to deal with, it will be helpful  that petty issues of likes and dislikes be sorted in advance so that you can embark your married journey in harmony.
My theory for marriage is simple. If you can have arguments and disagreements with your parents and siblings, then this significant other if relatively new to you, it might take at least a lifetime to understand them as a whole. It can be tough, but if there is love, it will keep you going.

                                                                            Never give up!
                                                                             Be Happy ❤❤

Comments

  1. I love this article ! I can relate to it so much ! You’ve covered all the topics so well ! Also it clears a few doubts so apt ! Thank you author!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Jameela,
      Thanks for your comment, glad it helped you in some way. Do share with anyone else who might find it worthy😊

      Delete
  2. All the points covered are broadly the issues we face in initial years. The article is flawlessly written with the right tempo to encourage the institute of marrige..thank u for such a wonderful article

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Rashida,
      It is only because of my readers support that I strive to keep getting better 😊

      Delete
  3. Hey, Qurious Writer, an awesome article... Keep going...

    ReplyDelete

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