5 Ways to Help Your Child to Feel Safe and Secure
Our world is slowly falling apart! With everything wrong that is going on around the globe, we start to feel a little scared and anxious. In times like these, we always cling on to our loved ones, we keep them close and stay in touch because we trust them and feel safe around them. This is the nature of relationships!
If we as adults get anxious easily, think about our little ones...they are yet to understand the troubles of the world and their mind is still so fragile, even our little actions impact them to an extent that we cannot imagine.
Our task as adults/parents is to raise children who are instilled with the belief that they are safe and secure, so that they can develop the confidence to face the challenges of the world. If they grow up fearless, then they will be able to take fearless decisions later in life.
So for all the good reasons, I am sharing with you 5 things that help your child feel safe and secure. Let's get started.
1. Hugs and Kisses!
This is my number one, like literally, I am all about hugs and kisses (with family only), so much that 'Hugs’ was one of my toddler’s first words, and she keeps asking for more and more hugs every day. Try this with your child, every time s/he displays need for affection, drop everything you are doing, no matter how important, and hug them and remember to add some kisses. Do this several times a day! This makes them super happy, and they go back to playing feeling loved. Make sure that you acknowledge their need for affection, because this will generate feelings of security within your child. This way they are assured that, when they need someone to hold them, you will be there.
2. Use Fear Wisely!
We all like to scare our children sooner or later just to get work done from them. Yes, it is true!!!! In my opinion, if you have to use fear as a weapon, use it wisely and rarely!
Just like I said above, we need to raise fearless individuals, not fearful! So quit scaring them for everything 10 times a day. This will make them scared and before you know it that will become their personality. You don't want your child to be a weakling when they go off to school. You want them to stand up for themselves instead of being bullied. As a substitute of, “A monster will come and get you”! Try this, “There may be monsters out there but mom and dad will protect you!” This will make them feel safe. Also, they will know that you are their protector not someone who will give the child away to the monsters for taking.
3. Talk About Feelings and Emotions!
Just like affection helps children. Emotional catharsis does too! Let them talk; never think they don’t make sense, because children are very observant. Listen to them attentively as if you would to an adult. Ask your children open-ended questions, so that they can fill you up with details. If you give them an opportunity you will be amazed at their skill for description. When you communicate this way to your child they will feel important. They will know they have a voice, and their opinions and feelings matter to you. The feeling of security will be stronger than ever, once they feel valued.
4. Bond and Grow Together!
Your duty as a parent does not stop at the school doors. Don't leave all the learning for the school to do. Your child learns best with you. You are the role model here. While school is important for every aspect of development, a parental touch will give an enhanced push to your child's growth. So play games together -educational and fun. Teach your child any skills that you know, if you don't know any, learn with your child. This will help you and your child to bond in tremendous ways. They will cherish these memories forever, and also these lessons that they learn with you will be ingrained faster than anything they learn at school. Don't be the parent who is binge watching television while your child begs for attention. This behavior will spoil any chance of closeness with your child. So when your child creates a bond with you, they build confidence in you. This confidence will boost his security because he knows you have his back.
5. Build Self Confidence!
The most important! They not only need to trust their parents, but also themselves if they want to live independently one day. But, self confidence cannot be built at once; it takes time and patience on the part of caregivers. So make them independent from the start. Quit doing things for them, get them to do their own chores, guide them for making their own decisions, even if they are as young as a toddler. Ask them their opinion, they will answer. My toddler can tell me which songs she likes and which she doesn't, because I always ask her about her likes and dislikes. If they are not ready to do the chores on their own yet, LET THEM TRY, don't think that they won't be able to do it, let them make an attempt at least. ‘You can do it!’ should be your mantra. Eventually, when someday they do their task, they will feel accomplished and that will be a step towards self confidence. Self confidence works this way, if you know how to cook, you are assured that you will never starve to death, that's why you feel safe and secure. Same thing with children, if they know they can do it, they will have security and a feeling of being self sufficient.
Children are like wax, mold them well and you will have a beautiful candle, give up and you will have a blob of melted wax that won't do you or them any good. You decide what you want to make out of your children.
Stay sane! Stay happy!