How to Win an Argument Like a Boss!
For most of us, arguments are like
battlefields, we often don't want to understand the other perspectives we just
want to win. It's a fight for blood and honor (and ego!). It is natural, no no,
not ideal, but natural human behavior.
See, the thing about argument is that, it
only happens when you have already chosen a side. This verbal battle only
starts, when someone else tries to choose the side you didn't choose. Then you
want to convince or confuse them why your choice is the best for everyone.
This often last for a while, until one
person has everyone’s agreement or frustration and walks out of the scene
feeling like a lawyer...or better...a BOSS!
So let me take you through some tricks
which will help you win your arguments like a boss…
Are you ready? Let's dig in.
1. Confidence is your Weapon
You will need a weapon, because this is a battle remember!? So choose confidence as your weapon. For most cases, you will choose to argue about something only if you already are confident of your take. So your half job is done there. If you feel like you need to work on your confidence, read my previous article
Quick Tips to Confidence, for some super tips.
You will need a weapon, because this is a battle remember!? So choose confidence as your weapon. For most cases, you will choose to argue about something only if you already are confident of your take. So your half job is done there. If you feel like you need to work on your confidence, read my previous article
Quick Tips to Confidence, for some super tips.
For the other half, make sure you appear as
confident as you feel. If you look meek, you will lose before you start.
Believe me, the onlookers/ participants judge you by your facial expressions,
way before you even say a word. So stand up straight, walk steady, and keep
those lips at a pleasant curve. No fidgeting, no hesitation, just tell yourself
to breathe and win! Game on…
2. Eye Contact and Tone
Eye contact goes hand in hand with confidence, making eye contact while making a point, will truly make an impact on your opponent. Remember, don't stare them down and scare them, just keep it light and subtle. Do look around, but come back to eye contact often. The thing about eye contact is, that it conveys that you are talking directly to a person, and that is why they have no choice but, to listen to what you are talking about. This way you will have their full attention.
Eye contact goes hand in hand with confidence, making eye contact while making a point, will truly make an impact on your opponent. Remember, don't stare them down and scare them, just keep it light and subtle. Do look around, but come back to eye contact often. The thing about eye contact is, that it conveys that you are talking directly to a person, and that is why they have no choice but, to listen to what you are talking about. This way you will have their full attention.
Keep your tone firm but calm. No talking
too fast or too slow, just be as composed as you can. Often, while arguing,
people raise their voices, which is not required at all. The calmer you are the
better the impact. You can only get people to agree with you when you explain
your opinion, not when you shout it out to them. Yelling will only make you
lose, not just the argument, but also the person. (If you are
friends/family/acquaintances).
3. Don't be Afraid to Voice your
Thoughts
Go full out to prove your point. If a thought comes to your head, never dismiss it thinking it is stupid or invalid. Consider every thought you have at that moment, and re-frame it to sound sensible. Just like no question is stupid, no answer is senseless. If you demean you own thoughts, why do you expect others to trust you anyway? Believe in yourself, and believe that every thought in your mind and every opinion that you have is and will be based on a sensible reason. All you have to do is, find your reason. I know arguments put pressure on the mind, and it can be a challenge to think straight at that moment. But some people actually think better under pressure (like me!). For those who don’t, make sure you breathe in an out to help your mind be in the right place. (It really works).
Go full out to prove your point. If a thought comes to your head, never dismiss it thinking it is stupid or invalid. Consider every thought you have at that moment, and re-frame it to sound sensible. Just like no question is stupid, no answer is senseless. If you demean you own thoughts, why do you expect others to trust you anyway? Believe in yourself, and believe that every thought in your mind and every opinion that you have is and will be based on a sensible reason. All you have to do is, find your reason. I know arguments put pressure on the mind, and it can be a challenge to think straight at that moment. But some people actually think better under pressure (like me!). For those who don’t, make sure you breathe in an out to help your mind be in the right place. (It really works).
4. Listen Carefully
Since an argument is often between two or more people (but, sometimes we also argue with our own minds, which is totally normal), one has to play two roles, one of talking and one of listening. We all know that being a good listener is an amazing quality in a person, also an important one. When you are arguing, this quality will be helpful to you. If you listen attentively, you will know which points to counter-attack and take the argument ahead. Listening will also give a feeling of mutual respect to your opponent.
Since an argument is often between two or more people (but, sometimes we also argue with our own minds, which is totally normal), one has to play two roles, one of talking and one of listening. We all know that being a good listener is an amazing quality in a person, also an important one. When you are arguing, this quality will be helpful to you. If you listen attentively, you will know which points to counter-attack and take the argument ahead. Listening will also give a feeling of mutual respect to your opponent.
5. Don't Make it Ugly
This is really what I believe in, and you should too! If you take away anything from this article, I want you to take this thought with you:
This is really what I believe in, and you should too! If you take away anything from this article, I want you to take this thought with you:
It is only an argument; it does not define
anyone's personality, character or beliefs. It is only limited to the subject
in question. It is important to stick to the topic and not make any remarks
that can become personally offending to anyone. A good way to make an argument respectful
is to start with a positive statement. For example, if you are opposing a
point, you can say, “I understand what you are saying, but…” or “I know this could
be valid in a situation, however…” etc.
Remember that once a word slips out of your
mouth, it will never go back. Therefore, keep your expressions, words, voice
and body language respectable not only to gain respect, but also to show
respect towards others. So make sure when you walk out of the room after your
debate, you are still on good terms with whoever it is.
Let me conclude by saying that, Arguments are like Salt!
You use it every single day of your life,
in varying quantities, without it the food will taste dull and incomplete.
Similarly, if you don't argue about
something, the end decision will seem incomplete.
When you argue, you hear other perspectives
about a subject and it makes it easier to make a decision about it once it is
understood completely. But again, who am I kidding? it is often about winning
and losing, isn’t it?
Be happy and keep winning!😇
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